I checked on my phone thinking it might be my friend who used another phone. Unfortunately, not. It was you. I was stunned because of the message, I am so sure it wasn’t intended for me but for somebody else. So I didn’t respond. A few hours later, my phone began to ring over and over again. So, I answered it.
“Hi, Sabrina! Nasayop ko ug send sa message nako ganina. Pagcheck nako sa number, imoha man di ay. (Hi Sabrina! Sorry, I mistakenly sent the message to you. I found out that it was your number when I checked the sent item.) Goodness, it’s you again. Well, hello. I don’t want to sound cocky or arrogant, it’s just that how come you have my number? I don’t hate you, you just happened to be part of my least favorite person back then.
But a day after that we kept on exchanging text messages until it became a routine for us. We constantly inform each other about our whereabouts. We treated each other like “Kuya and Babysis”. That was also the time you started calling me babysis. Since, you treated me like a younger sibling I didn’t bother receiving sweet messages from you, or a protective reminder that I should be going home early or I should not be going around with boys, I should not drink, I should not party and other stuff. No buts and ifs, I just say yes. I intentionally did not let my friends know since I din’t find it wrong to be constantly communicating with someone who treats me like a kiddo.
Six months. It was already six months and we still have each other’s back through sms and IM. Until one day, you suddenly called (which is very unusual) and told me that you’ll be off for good. I didn’t bother asking why. I just agreed.
Then I saw some of your friend’s post on Facebook saying that you and that girl should get back together. Oopsy! I didn’t see it coming. I swear to God that for that past six months all I felt was purely friendship but I felt a little guilt inside. It stung. I don’t know why.
Guess what – fast track. Four months passed.
I was so busy with school, friends and with someone. He was a friend of mine who courted me but I just don’t feel the need of saying yes to him because he was such a very good friend to me and I can’t afford to lose him. He was so kind and generous but it didn’t change my mind. I love him as a friend but not more than that. So I turned him down. He was devastated, he didn’t talked to me after that. But I believed that someday we will which he did, a day before Christmas. Such a relief.
A month passed.
I received a message. An unknown number again. But honestly, I said to myself – it was you. So I checked if my wild guess was right and yes, I was indeed right. It was you.
My phone rang. I got nervous. Again, I don’t know why. Suddenly you told me “Maayo ra jud nga gituyo nako ug send ang message nimo sauna. Maayo ra jud nga ikaw ug dili ang uban ako gipili nga mocomfort nako sa panahon nga complicated pa akong life. Maayo ra jud nga ikaw”. (Good thing it was you whom I intentionally texted back then. I’m thankful that it was you whom I chose to comfort me during my difficult moments. I’m thankful that it was you.) Your words kept me off guard. I don’t know what to say. I just listened to to you until you stopped sobbing. After that call, I confronted myself about what I feel and yes, I guess – I was slowly falling for you long before. I was unconsciously stopping myself not to because I value our sibling like relationship and I respect the person you were with and the person who was constantly aiming for me that time.
But it’s too late now, I said. I was very honest with you, if you could remember. I asked you if we could have that Kuya – Babysis kind of relationship again but you said no. You told me that we should be more than that. That we should be more open with each other. I got scared but I didn’t say no either. I told you not to tell our friends first because for sure they will disagree. Why? Because you dated one of our classmate before and she happened to be a close friend to my group of friends. You agreed.
Again. We were back on the right track. Normal conversations on the phone, constantly chatting on facebook, we find time to call each other despite the busy schedule at school. You always call me at night and asked about how my day went. You always check on me. You kept on sending encouraging messages during our case presentations and term exams. You check on me during my monthly dalaw (Because I ususally have painful menstrual cramps) That was you. The guy that I was slowly falling in love with.
Little by little I discovered a lot of things about you. All your favorites, weaknesses, what makes you angry or sad. It was almost 11 months of being like this. Steady and chill kind of relationship. Then my parents noticed that I am getting serious about us (I don’t hide any secrets from them – so I told them about you) and asked me if they could personally meet you. Uhg. I tell you, I got extremely nervous. I thought they’ll stop me from feeling something more than the thought of liking you.
So I told you about my parent’s request and there you were felt so giddy while saying yes. I thought you would say no because I just thought. I was happy. Truly happy.