That’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple of days now. I would love to extend it, as far as my body and brain would allow me to but I told myself, “Hey kiddo! Your responsibilities are piling up. Act now or you’ll regret it one day”.
And my conscience is right.
I have lots and lots of paperwork that needs to be done or processed both at work and for my career plans. I have pending chores at home as well. My new puppy needs to be vaccinated and there are just a lot of random and planned things in store for me that I set aside simply because I was overwhelmed with certain things and or people.
If you’re wondering why I have all of these crazy things going on right now in my life? It’s because of my own doings and I won’t deny it. I humbly accept the fact that there’s no one to blame other than myself. I have neglected them all because I was at the point of giving other “stuff” a chance or what I am trying to say is, I would like to give some decisions and certain person a chance for me to get myself involved more on them, for them and with them, and him too. And that’s when I started messing up.
Good thing that I encouraged myself to update my blog today. And I remembered that it’s another Music Monday for us, so I checked on YouTube and Spotify if I could somewhat look for a good song that I could share to you little young ones *though it’s quite late for my Music Monday to be shared* but there I found the right song that turned my weary heart and bothered mind at peace right now.
The title of this song is “Steady my Heart” by Kari Jobe. I’ll tell you why this song has been my favorite among all of her praise and worship compositions. But first, please listen to it heartily and I hope that this song also gives you the kind of peace and stillness that I also felt.
The line near the chorus struck me so much because it reminds me of Him, the Man above. It says there:
But You’re here.
I know, I can trust You.
He is here within us. He is real. And we could trust in Him. Always.
The title of the song alone is already a heads up for me not to rush on things. And with what happened to me for the past weeks, I realized that I really took the time to be outside of my comfort zone and tried to be more open to things as I could possibly be and can but at the same time I forgot one thing – I lost track of my heart’s goal.
Lost in a way that I overwhelmed myself with too much emotions and the sense of urgency to reach on something. I knew it from the start but I just went on. I consulted my parents about this matter involving ny heart and they’re happy, I even got their approval. I asked two dearest friends of mine to help me sort out on this thing that’s been bothering me and they have the same views. They told me that the cons outweigh the pros and that I am trying to settle myself being in a relationship just way too soon. And they just both nailed it.
I am happy in a way that I am not going against the flow of my situation right now compared to what I have been doing in the past and I could also see that there are people who are happy for me and are even ready to support me on what is currently happening with my life.
And yes, I am open for all the possibilities now both good and bad. I’m not going to fight or go against the flow anymore. BUT. I know as well that my heart is very much vulnerable. Again, I know. I am half-hearted despite the fact that I am open. And that means one thing, it’s just not yet the time for me because if it does I shouldn’t be questioning myself and I’ll definitely not doubt my heart.
So for now, after so much contemplating and weighing on the pros and cons and every little thing in between – I now finally declare my heart “on hold”. On hold in a way that I won’t fight with it for whatever may come along *even the present one* but rest assured that I won’t coerce it as well. I will continue to keep my heart steady. I’ll focus on my heart’s goal and to always bring my brain with me. I’ll follow God’s lead. I have always believe in God’s plans for me. I’ll trust His time like I always do. I would not settle myself for anything less on what I truly deserve because I know that I am worth it. I would not let the pressure of the world burden my heart. Love will come my way, I know. Though it maybe tough, long, scary, and I may reach to a point where my hope will be tested but I will not be shaken nor disheartened because I believe in God’s grace and unfailing love for me. With Him alone, my heart is steady.
My heart will be fine. It will be because God will steady it for me.
It is still raining out here in my hometown little young ones but i hope you are having a good weather out there but if not, please stay safe and dry and warm. Good evening little young ones. I must say this before I go to bed tonight, I miss you here in my blogverse. I hope that before you go to bed tonight you will consult your heart’s desire and to keep things clear in your mind so that you will not be lost.
Keep on track little young ones. Let us steady our hearts for the best. ♥