Breaking free.

 

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Hello my dear little young ones!

How are you doing? Did you start your day right or did Monday blues sink in in your nerves already? I hope it’s not the latter. Honestly, I really don’t know how to start blogging again after my long hiatus. I have plenty of excuses to say but the most truthful reason that I could give to you is my lack of time management.

I really got caught up with my hospital schedule and my shifts are pretty the same like you are in a roller coaster ride. My sleeping and eating habit drastically changed and I already lost 2 kilograms in my three months as a probationary. And in that three months, it changed me – my decision making, my responses, my priorities. Is this what they’re referring to as ‘growing up stage’? I guess.

Let me just summed up what really happened to me – I already had my first blood as an ER Nurse (handling a patient from the start of it’s critical stage to it’s last breathe), had an Incident Report (which I sternly believed wasn’t my fault), heard some ‘not so constructive criticisms’ from my fellow nurses, my schedule and salary caused my Mama’s anger and turned our relationship upside down for awhile, and missed a couple of bonding with my family and friends (especially with Baby Zachy). They’re all not so good right?

BUT despite all of these circumstances, it taught me three important life lessons:

  • When all else fails, I have a Big God who will never fail me.
  • I have to stand on my decisions whether it makes or breaks me.
  • It’s alright to cry… like a baby.

Actually, I have already learned about these but this time I deal with them with conviction and with a steady heart. Although there were still some moments when things get a little shaky, scary, and completely drains the positive vibes out of me, I have my closest friends and puppy as my first aid *like they’ve always been like my Big Man above*. 

So why breaking free?

Why not? I have so many things to break free in my baggage and it wouldn’t hurt to break some and let go of some. So what are those? Disclaimer:  I have a lot of stuff to share but here are some of them and the most important ones for me.

01

02

Little young ones, they’re just two for now but it already lightens my load. Carrying too much and restraining myself to let go of these traits kill my freedom to achieve satisfaction and happiness. And I’m in good spirit knowing that I have been consistently doing right for myself, this time.

So this is all for now my dear little young ones. How about you, what are those things, traits, or practices that you would like to break free? How willing are you to unload your baggage? Care to share here in my blog post by simply leaving a comment or if you would like to add something just feel free to do so. I’ll be waiting.

Enjoy the rest of your Monday little young ones. Your Pandora’s back and allow me to say this, I miss you and love you. ♥

 

 

 

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An Open Letter to Someone Trying Their Very Best Despite the Bad.

I have thought of writing an open letter a couple of times since I started blogging but I didn’t get enough courage to do so. Not yet, I told myself. Not until I finally decided to do it for real, tonight.

If you’re wondering why I am doing this now, well I only have one answer – I am having a very difficult time lately and this is my way of cheering myself up. When I vent out all my fears, concerns, and worries through blogging *writing*, it makes me happy because I can see the positive side of me compared to when I just silently sulk myself in my room, like a vampire afraid of the daylight. And yes, I know it’s a cliché to be sharing good vibes to each one of you when I’m not putting actions into it and for not truly making it to reality right? YES! You have a point about that and that’s why I’m doing this now. I’m sharing this to you because I have finally realized that running away from my problems will not do good for me, like never.

Honestly, my reason for being so down and useless in the last couple of weeks is just so petty compared to the real struggle that the Syrians are facing right now or to those refugees who are still seeking for a safe place to live. I am aware of that. That’s why I feel so ashamed to feel so much pain inside of me, too much self – blaming to the point of giving up when in fact my problems are just nothing compared to their unbearable condition.

My heart aches every single time I see or hear news about innocent kids dying, wives losing their husbands and the other way around, mothers and fathers losing their children in just a blink of an eye, children losing their parents, and families losing home. I couldn’t help but weep whenever I see news flash of bombings, terrorist attacks, kidnappings, and intentional killings to those poor innocent souls. And with all of these savage and cruel reality here and there I told myself, I have no right to feel so empty and so lost because my problem is nothing compared to theirs. So that’s why I am sharing this personal piece to you little young ones. And just a heads up, I am not obliging you to reflect the same way that I did but I hope that you could learn something out from this.

So here it goes:

To those people trying their best despite the bad, this one’s for you.

Wherever you are remember that it’s alright to be sad and lonely. It’s okay if all you did today is just breathe. Just come to think of it, if you’re breathing means that you’re still alive.

Do not carry all the burdens of the world. Although we are well – aware that the land is our battleground but this is not just our fight alone, it’s His too. He promised that He will not leave us alone remember? Then let’s give our trust in Him for He knows us too well.

In this world full of chaos and pain, crying is an option but giving up is not. Poor out all your tears, shed them all off and when you’re done stand up again and tough it through again and again and again.

Earthlings it’s alright to take enough time to pause, to escape a bit, to take a detour, to have some break from the world but we must also remember that time is not always on our side. For no matter how hard we try to befriend time but we cannot, so we must also be assertive and proactive to the kind of pace that we are in.

And indeed, success demands fair effort, not more and not less, but just the right kind of effort and willingness to surpass each waking day with a joyful heart and a contented soul. 

And lastly, I know that I am not in the position to be spreading this kind of words right now but my conscience is clear that as I am exhilarating optimism and hope to you little young ones, it also radiates to my senses that with a strong faith in the Man above and with our eagerness to do better in becoming better for the better then nothing is impossible.

If today is not as good as yesterday or if today didn’t go well as planned then let’s breathe out the bad and breathe in all the possibilities that the world could offer. Let’s continue to tough it through.

Are you with me?

With so much hope,

Your Pandora ♥

And there goes my first ever open letter. I’m tearing up while re – reading with what I just made and I am proud to say that though I have a lot of issues with my life right now *going in and out of my control* but I’ll be able to continue moving forward for I am fighter. My faith is strong and my God is bigger than my fears. He is unfailing and He will never let me fight alone. So is He to you, always remember that.

Goodnight for now little young ones. I’ll update you as much as I could. I’ll keep in touch no matter what so I hope that you’ll never grow tired from reading my blog. Pray before you sleep. I love you. 🙂

Fight PESSIMISM. 

Time check, it’s almost 11:23 PM and I am here trying to block all the negative vibes away before I tuck myself to sleep but it seems like it is slightly not working.

Why?

I must admit that today’s my kind of lazy day. And there’s nothing wrong if the only thing that we did today is just ‘minimal work’. I know, we all have this kind of day where all we want to do is cuddle our pillow and stay in bed for the longest time possible.

And again, that’s okay.

Sometimes but not always of course! 

It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that I am not so good with the aftermath. If you know mean.  Then I asked myself why am I feeling like this? Well the answer is as clear as the water for me – I’ve been thinking and thinking of so many things and people and stuff and workloads the day after my last day in the office. There were good things and bad things to think of. Some I was able to worked out already and some are just too unpredictable. And thinking alone drained me out, how much more if I act on those things already?

Good thing I decided to check on Marc and Angel’s blog and I was able to read an old post where they focus on fighting negativity. It enlightened my mind and gave me enough courage to not be so easily affected by my thoughts, the negative ones specifically. After reading that post, I realized that I have to do something to kick this negative vibes off of me that’s causing me to be lazy and overthink. Because yes, sometimes these negative thoughts make me think too much to the point that I could no longer do anything. And right now I am encouraging you little young ones to answer these random questions with me so that we can reflect on them whenever we  feel like going through some bumpy roads or when we start doubting ourselves – by then we can just run through these questions again with our answers and be inspired. Are you ready?

20 Questions That Would Free Your Mind From Negativity

 

 

  1. What could you be grateful for and positive about right now, if you really wanted to? I have always been grateful with so many things in my life even for those unwanted ones that truly made me cry. And today’s an example because even if I feel so down overthinking about a lot of things I am still grateful that I was able to wake up and saw Mr. Sun this morning. I was able to spend time playing with my raggy puppy Munchy. My Mamadearest and I had some crazy time laughing over something not so funny but we laughed so hard anyway. My Papadearest was also here today and I let him try our new massage chair and he was happy. These are just some of the things that happened today that I am thankful for and I am rooting for more moments like these. 

  2. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have? Death of a loved one. I know that we couldn’t stop death from happening but I am more than thankful that my family is still complete despite all the challenges and issues. 

  3. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? Competing with time. Why? I have always believe that time is precious and tricky. If we don’t value our time wisely while we are still here in this world then we will end up regretting on the things that we should have done or should’ve not, words that we should’ve said or not said, and even those times where we try to conceal our own pain even if we shouldn’t. And though I couldn’t promise that I could let go of this completely but I can always give it a try and try harder. 

  4. Who, or what, needs your forgiveness? Myself. For what? For putting myself last but I have no issues with it though. I am happy to be of service and making use of my time helping others and letting them see that there is still hope especially to my family and closest friends. 

  5. What’s the right thing to do? To be kind always even when nobody sees it, appreciates it, or believes it. 

  6. What’s something nice you can do for someone else right now? To cheer them up! 

  7. What compliments have you received lately? “You’re very approachable” said by the nurses who also took the exam yesterday. We were only 6 applicants and we were so awkward sitting there in the room not talking to each other so I initiated the conversation and it really went well. And now we are all excited to start with the training as batch mates. 😉 

  8. What do you know you’re great at? Encouraging others and listening to them. 

  9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Nothing. I am contented with who I am and what I am. Besides I would still be judge whether I change or not.

  10. What activities help you feel most like yourself? Anything related to art or something that I am so happy doing about with the closest people in my life. 

  11. What gets you excited about life? Everything. Every little thing in this world has its own magic and wonder. 

  12. What excuses do you need to stop making? “I will try” because this is the most common for me and I should stop this. Like really. 

  13. If you learn from your mistakes, why are you always so afraid to make a mistake? Because it serves as a precaution or a reminder. But I think it’s not that we are afraid to commit mistakes because we are bound to make them rather we are more afraid of the effect of the mistake that we might do especially if it involves the people that we value the most. 

  14. When was the unexpected better than what you expected? I could not really distinguish when but I encountered a lot of unexpected better than what I expected things to happened. Indeed, we act on our plans but the Man above’s way is always the best.

  15. What do you now know better for next time? Being lazy is okay but not always. Let’s get physical and be more productive by honing our passion and craft. 

  16. What’s the next best step forward from here? Since I am not yet sleepy, I’ll finish my journal. I’ll try to be creative with it by applying those tips that I learned from some DIY Vlogs. I’ll also keep track with my goals and to-do list. 📃 😉

  17. What’s priceless about this moment? Seeing my parents smiling while sharing their thoughts about going home to our hometown so that they can spend quality time with Baby Zachy and my brother. 

  18. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Right now. 

  19. Who do you need to spend less time with? PEOPLE who complain a lot. I mean, there’s nothing wrong if things get messy and that you really need to butt in and stand for what you think should be right but then again – IT SHOULD BE RIGHT. Do you agree with me little young ones? 

  20. How have insignificant past rejections messed with your self-confidence? Pretty real. I had a hard time adjusting before knowing that my self-confidence was really distorted back then. I cried a lot but it’s different now. I’ve learned to adjust and go with the flow without being too emotionally or mentally affected by rejections or failures. Though from time to time I still get hurt but not like before. 


Alrighty little young ones, how do you feel after answering all these questions? Do you feel better, lighter or more optimistic about your life right now? I hope you do because this is what I am feeling right now too, I feel better. But if it’s a NO then no pressure, give yourself enough time to prepare and adjust. Okay? 
So this is all for tonight little young ones. Happy Friday once again and in a couple of minutes more it’s already Saturday. So if you’re planning to go to the beach with your family, or you are road tripping with your significant someone,  or be somewhere outside with your squad, or just at home and have quality time with your bed or whatever it is that you have in mind, always remember to cherish and spend your time wisely. Do not let negative vibes ruin your moment to shine. 

Nightynight little young ones. 😘