5th of July

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Hello little young ones!

Your Pandora is finally back with my very first legit entry for this year. First, I would like to apologize for disappearing for a couple of months. Life was so tough with me. I really could not mention all the details here but rest assured that I’m totally bouncing back after a great fall and a headshot.

For the first half of this year, I’ve learned a lot. Seriously learned a lot. There were stuff as well that really caught me off guard. Surprises that touched me in such a way that made me weighed things maturely like I’ve never done before. Like ever! There were also major life changing decisions that I took a leap off. I struggled to some, I survived the rest. Life is indeed amazing.

Honestly, I’m still struggling with some issues with my life right now. Career wise, I’m still torn between which country to focus on to, as to when I should really push myself in taking  my IELTS *though I already have a target date for it but I’m still anxious about it*, and bumping into this question over and over again, “Am I really ready to leave my family and my favorite human to work abroad?”. These mind – wrecking life decisions really scare me. I’m scared because of too much pressure from my family and friends who are now currently working abroad. Whenever I think of it, the first thing that really comes to my mind is How.

How will I start?

How will I survived without my family, my puppy, and my support system?

I know that for some of you little young ones, you could answer my questions so easily. But as for me, I’ve never ever thought of leaving my parents. The longest time that I was away with them was for forty days because of my in – house review for the board exam. Surprisingly, my parents are pretty much supportive now with my plans of working abroad unlike before. They are even the one’s pushing me to keep on applying online and taking my chances wherever life takes me. It’s such a shame that I lacked the effort to really pursue their dreams for me for the past six months now.

BUT, like I said, I’m bouncing back. I am now focusing on my goal – road to becoming a registered nurse outside Philippines. Thanks to my dearest friends who already took and passed the exam for sharing their review materials and some words of advice too especially, for a first – timer like me. As of the moment, I’m still searching for a trusted review center where I can crash in and study while juggling on my schedule at work. While doing so, I’m somewhat leading and encouraging myself to focus on my self – review as well and so far, I’m doing quite good with it.

I also want to share with you about my life as an Emergency Nurse for a year and two months now. It’s dreadful. toxic, unhealthy, stressful, tough, and everything mind – blowing and heart – wrenching but above all these negative vibes that I felt – I AM BLESSED. I’m blessed because I am able to witness adrenaline – rush kind of scenarios almost everyday. I’m blessed because I can encounter different people of all walks of life and see eye to eye the true meaning life through them. I’m blessed because I am faced with so many dilemmas that I thought could only happen in movies and dramas and slowly surpassed them without freaking out or chickening away. I’m blessed because no matter how crazy our admins are or how my seniors treat me in such a way that intimidates me to push myself forward – I can still be myself and I can still work under their suspicious, doubtful, and belittling eyes. All I know is, I am who I am and for as long as I am not hurting anyone, life goes on.

You know little young ones, I’m really good at giving good words to uplift someone’s spirit up. I remembered what my favorite mentor told me before he spent his last day as our Supervisor, he said, “I’m like a little sunshine in fleeting colors” and I’m trying to keep it that way. And even if I’m easily affected by so many things around me and gets so emotional sometimes, I’m always giving my best shot to separate work from my personal life. I’m always all in when it comes to my career and how to really improve my skills and become an efficient nurse to my patients. Same goes with how I balanced my time without compromising my health although sometimes it’s quite tricky and challenging. I’m trying to be my own kind of superhero in me, I guess.

Well, this is all for now little young ones and I promise that this won’t be the last. Now that I have retrieved my access to my WordPress again *I got locked out because I forgot my password*, I can now share more things with you. I’ll be back for more of my Weekly Updates and random talks with you soon.

I miss you little young ones and I couldn’t wait to spend quality time with my safe haven which is blogging.

Love,

Your Pandora♥

P.S. Always appreciate the little things.

02.02

 

 

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Breaking free.

 

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Hello my dear little young ones!

How are you doing? Did you start your day right or did Monday blues sink in in your nerves already? I hope it’s not the latter. Honestly, I really don’t know how to start blogging again after my long hiatus. I have plenty of excuses to say but the most truthful reason that I could give to you is my lack of time management.

I really got caught up with my hospital schedule and my shifts are pretty the same like you are in a roller coaster ride. My sleeping and eating habit drastically changed and I already lost 2 kilograms in my three months as a probationary. And in that three months, it changed me – my decision making, my responses, my priorities. Is this what they’re referring to as ‘growing up stage’? I guess.

Let me just summed up what really happened to me – I already had my first blood as an ER Nurse (handling a patient from the start of it’s critical stage to it’s last breathe), had an Incident Report (which I sternly believed wasn’t my fault), heard some ‘not so constructive criticisms’ from my fellow nurses, my schedule and salary caused my Mama’s anger and turned our relationship upside down for awhile, and missed a couple of bonding with my family and friends (especially with Baby Zachy). They’re all not so good right?

BUT despite all of these circumstances, it taught me three important life lessons:

  • When all else fails, I have a Big God who will never fail me.
  • I have to stand on my decisions whether it makes or breaks me.
  • It’s alright to cry… like a baby.

Actually, I have already learned about these but this time I deal with them with conviction and with a steady heart. Although there were still some moments when things get a little shaky, scary, and completely drains the positive vibes out of me, I have my closest friends and puppy as my first aid *like they’ve always been like my Big Man above*. 

So why breaking free?

Why not? I have so many things to break free in my baggage and it wouldn’t hurt to break some and let go of some. So what are those? Disclaimer:  I have a lot of stuff to share but here are some of them and the most important ones for me.

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Little young ones, they’re just two for now but it already lightens my load. Carrying too much and restraining myself to let go of these traits kill my freedom to achieve satisfaction and happiness. And I’m in good spirit knowing that I have been consistently doing right for myself, this time.

So this is all for now my dear little young ones. How about you, what are those things, traits, or practices that you would like to break free? How willing are you to unload your baggage? Care to share here in my blog post by simply leaving a comment or if you would like to add something just feel free to do so. I’ll be waiting.

Enjoy the rest of your Monday little young ones. Your Pandora’s back and allow me to say this, I miss you and love you. ♥

 

 

 

An Open Letter to Someone Trying Their Very Best Despite the Bad.

I have thought of writing an open letter a couple of times since I started blogging but I didn’t get enough courage to do so. Not yet, I told myself. Not until I finally decided to do it for real, tonight.

If you’re wondering why I am doing this now, well I only have one answer – I am having a very difficult time lately and this is my way of cheering myself up. When I vent out all my fears, concerns, and worries through blogging *writing*, it makes me happy because I can see the positive side of me compared to when I just silently sulk myself in my room, like a vampire afraid of the daylight. And yes, I know it’s a cliché to be sharing good vibes to each one of you when I’m not putting actions into it and for not truly making it to reality right? YES! You have a point about that and that’s why I’m doing this now. I’m sharing this to you because I have finally realized that running away from my problems will not do good for me, like never.

Honestly, my reason for being so down and useless in the last couple of weeks is just so petty compared to the real struggle that the Syrians are facing right now or to those refugees who are still seeking for a safe place to live. I am aware of that. That’s why I feel so ashamed to feel so much pain inside of me, too much self – blaming to the point of giving up when in fact my problems are just nothing compared to their unbearable condition.

My heart aches every single time I see or hear news about innocent kids dying, wives losing their husbands and the other way around, mothers and fathers losing their children in just a blink of an eye, children losing their parents, and families losing home. I couldn’t help but weep whenever I see news flash of bombings, terrorist attacks, kidnappings, and intentional killings to those poor innocent souls. And with all of these savage and cruel reality here and there I told myself, I have no right to feel so empty and so lost because my problem is nothing compared to theirs. So that’s why I am sharing this personal piece to you little young ones. And just a heads up, I am not obliging you to reflect the same way that I did but I hope that you could learn something out from this.

So here it goes:

To those people trying their best despite the bad, this one’s for you.

Wherever you are remember that it’s alright to be sad and lonely. It’s okay if all you did today is just breathe. Just come to think of it, if you’re breathing means that you’re still alive.

Do not carry all the burdens of the world. Although we are well – aware that the land is our battleground but this is not just our fight alone, it’s His too. He promised that He will not leave us alone remember? Then let’s give our trust in Him for He knows us too well.

In this world full of chaos and pain, crying is an option but giving up is not. Poor out all your tears, shed them all off and when you’re done stand up again and tough it through again and again and again.

Earthlings it’s alright to take enough time to pause, to escape a bit, to take a detour, to have some break from the world but we must also remember that time is not always on our side. For no matter how hard we try to befriend time but we cannot, so we must also be assertive and proactive to the kind of pace that we are in.

And indeed, success demands fair effort, not more and not less, but just the right kind of effort and willingness to surpass each waking day with a joyful heart and a contented soul. 

And lastly, I know that I am not in the position to be spreading this kind of words right now but my conscience is clear that as I am exhilarating optimism and hope to you little young ones, it also radiates to my senses that with a strong faith in the Man above and with our eagerness to do better in becoming better for the better then nothing is impossible.

If today is not as good as yesterday or if today didn’t go well as planned then let’s breathe out the bad and breathe in all the possibilities that the world could offer. Let’s continue to tough it through.

Are you with me?

With so much hope,

Your Pandora ♥

And there goes my first ever open letter. I’m tearing up while re – reading with what I just made and I am proud to say that though I have a lot of issues with my life right now *going in and out of my control* but I’ll be able to continue moving forward for I am fighter. My faith is strong and my God is bigger than my fears. He is unfailing and He will never let me fight alone. So is He to you, always remember that.

Goodnight for now little young ones. I’ll update you as much as I could. I’ll keep in touch no matter what so I hope that you’ll never grow tired from reading my blog. Pray before you sleep. I love you. 🙂