Birthday Goal.

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Hello little young ones! It’s my birthday today!

I know. I’ve been away for awhile. I just needed some space from everything lately but I’m joyfully bouncing back again. I’m about to share to you something that I have been struggling to fulfill, not until, TODAY. Let me tell you about the fight that I thought I wouldn’t be able to win over. So here it goes:

The battle I can’t CAN win over.

Today, I decided to pen my thoughts and of what my heart wanted to say. It’s more than eight months since I broke down my walls and let my guard down to someone. And it has been by far, the longest and crazy merry-go-round ‘nth months of my life.

I truly couldn’t share the details of how it all started but what I can share to you little young ones is – on how I will end it.

But before I tell you on how I will end it, let me share a piece of him to you.

He was my Pepe. I gave him that as his first pet name since we both love history and we consider Jose Rizal as our epic hero.

He was my passing kind of surprise last January and my constant sin since then. But let’s not focus on that.

He was my first thought when I wake up in the morning and the last person that I wished to see and hear before I close my eyes at night. It sounds so cringy but it’s true.

He was the reason why I have baggy eyes right now, for I have traded sleep with a couple of hours more just to match to his time. Because when it’s broad daylight for me, it’s starry night sky for him.

He was the one that makes my heart giggles like a kid whenever he does his routine phone calls before he leaves for work and right after he goes back to his apartment almost every day.

He made me love Fridays even more because it’s his rest day and that means more time to video call and chat. Simple joys of having a long distance relationship.

He led me to a new dimension of appreciating the Earth’s wonders and the little things in life even more. He gave me room to grow and learn new things. Introduced me to venture further.

He took me to places that I’ve never been even if we are miles apart. As if I was with him.

He taught me how to love without fear.

And yes, that’s him. Now, maybe you are wondering as to why I am putting an end to it.

Me and him.

 

I am putting an end to it because –

Even if he was my first and last thought every single time, my heart aches because of guilt and only God knows why.

Even if he was the reason why I’d lose sleep for, it’s not always because of a happy reason. I had sleepless nights crying and sobbing too because of too much questions. Questions that I certainly knew the answers but too stubborn to accept. Questions that I knew from the start I didn’t deserve.

Even if he gave me a euphoric kind of rush in my system whenever he calls, his voice lingers through me like a constant reminder of sorrow and his eyes are windows to that empty and dark void within him that I could not fill in no matter what I do.

Even if Friday became my new favorite day of the week, but the rest of the days became my excuse to be selfish in finding more and more reasons why I should hold on to this complicated love that I have for him. I repeat – complicated. 

Even if he led me to new things and allowed me to enjoy and explore the little yet undiscovered wonders of the Earth, but he did not teach me about our so-called limitations.

And lastly, even if he taught me how to love without fear but my poor heart could not fathom to hurt others. I just couldn’t and that’s why I am letting go.

I had enough excuses and selfish prayers already. My guilt overflows and I could not afford to hurt my soul any longer.

So I challenged myself to slowly detached and removed whatever it is that can connect me to him. Eradicate whatever there is that reminds me of him. That’s why I started deleting his voice clips and videos, then our pictures together, mine and his. Lastly, ignored his messages and put him on mute.

Maybe you are wondering and might be asking me now, “Why not delete that freaking thread and block him instead?” But for me that’s too mainstream but to my surprise – I did.

I admit and I strongly agree that there is nothing wrong cutting and seriously ending whatever social media connections between you and those people who threatens your peace of mind and hurts your soul. That’s actually one step closer to a healthier self.

I greeted him on his birthday before I finally end things for good. I have said my piece and meant every damn word just so that I won’t regret. I definitely don’t want to have any regrets. So I told him everything. I cried to his response but I don’t want to wallow over selfish reasons anymore.

I choose myself this time.

I choose myself because I deserve it. I deserved to be chosen and not as an excuse. I don’t want to give myself a hard time anymore. I’ve been bruised and scarred and adding more pain is just too much handle.

My inner self was right all along but I chose to stay human and rational and selfish. And now, I’ve learned the hard way. I got my heart broken and my soul tortured with doubts and guilt but I will stand again. I will wander for a while and might get lost in between my journey in rediscovering myself but I will get there.

I might look weak. I might stumble while facing some curve balls and to whatever life throws at me but I will not let those shots put me down. I will love even harder. The fact that I was able to open up after a couple of years of not allowing people to enter into my life is a good sign that I can still trust people. I can still love without regrets.

So that’s how I end my story with him. It might take a while but I will bounce back stronger. I thank him for the memories. It was a good one. Because of him, I realized that even if I have a very vulnerable heart, I’m quite stronger than I thought and that I have always been a believer that when people have different values in life- it’s just cannot be.

My parents raised me well and have clothed me with virtues and values the very moment I opened my eyes. I couldn’t afford to break their hearts too. I admit, I was lost. I have chosen something beyond my norms, and I’ve learned.

Now, I’m back on my feet. No more excuses. No more selfish thoughts.

I choose myself. I choose to do what’s right. I choose to be right.

Always remember little young ones; we don’t have to live happily ever after with every single person in our life in order to live happily ever after – some unfortunate endings are necessary.

 

Love,

Your Pandora♄

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This pic was taken last January 8, 2018 at Fort San Pedro Park, Cebu City.

 

07 / 05 / 18

ooooo

 

Good morning little young ones!

I’m on a graveyard shift right now and luckily there is no patient so I am grabbing my time to update you on my Weekly segment. And since today is Thursday, we will be talking about three random things. And the first idea that I have in mind is:

01.01

Well, I hope I got you thinking right now my dear little young ones. But as for me, here are my three phrases or words that’s quite hard for me to say.

  1. I am sorry.
  2. I trust you.
  3. No.

 

02.02

It’s hard for me to say it because people nowadays are becoming so insensitive and pretty abusive about their so – called “freedom of expression”. Call me sarcastic but sometimes, when their words are way too much to handle and could literally hurt me or someone that I am close with, I really answer them back without being sorry for it.

Do you want to know why? Because there is a need for them to know what LIMITATION means.

I say sorry and truly mean it if I caused pain in any form but to apologize for standing my ground and for what I think is morally right for myself and to those around me – I really won’t back out. But don’t worry little young ones, I know my limitations too. I may be too vocal about my thoughts but I always keep my patience on point.

03.03

Truth be told, I have trust issues. I don’t want to elaborate on this anymore because it’s reasonably dragging if I tell you about the real thing as to when I started doubting people particularly, men. But NO, I am not a man hater. It’s just hard for me to trust their beautiful words anymore especially if it doesn’t coincide with their actions and efforts. And I’m talking about – consistency. So you’re so lucky if I ever told you that I trust you because when I do, I certainly mean it.

And lastly,

04.04

For me, it’s hard to say no because we only live once and I want to grab whatever opportunity comes my way. Honestly, it makes me more of a people – pleaser rather than a goalgetter for some people. But I don’t care. Like I said, for as long as I am not hurting anyone, I will always be all in for it.

So these are my three phrases or words that are hard to say for this terrific Thursday. Now it’s your turn little young ones to share your own thoughts about our weekly segment for this day and I hope that I’m keeping your ideas up for a fresh start.

I hope that you’ll still tune in for more of our Weekly segment and share your own versions too. I can’t wait to read your comments and suggestions as well.

Stay safe and healthy little young ones. Have a wonderful Thursday ahead.

Love,

Your Pandora ♄

5th of July

01.01

Hello little young ones!

Your Pandora is finally back with my very first legit entry for this year. First, I would like to apologize for disappearing for a couple of months. Life was so tough with me. I really could not mention all the details here but rest assured that I’m totally bouncing back after a great fall and a headshot.

For the first half of this year, I’ve learned a lot. Seriously learned a lot. There were stuff as well that really caught me off guard. Surprises that touched me in such a way that made me weighed things maturely like I’ve never done before. Like ever! There were also major life changing decisions that I took a leap off. I struggled to some, I survived the rest. Life is indeed amazing.

Honestly, I’m still struggling with some issues with my life right now. Career wise, I’m still torn between which country to focus on to, as to when I should really push myself in taking  my IELTS *though I already have a target date for it but I’m still anxious about it*, and bumping into this question over and over again, “Am I really ready to leave my family and my favorite human to work abroad?”. These mind – wrecking life decisions really scare me. I’m scared because of too much pressure from my family and friends who are now currently working abroad. Whenever I think of it, the first thing that really comes to my mind is How.

How will I start?

How will I survived without my family, my puppy, and my support system?

I know that for some of you little young ones, you could answer my questions so easily. But as for me, I’ve never ever thought of leaving my parents. The longest time that I was away with them was for forty days because of my in – house review for the board exam. Surprisingly, my parents are pretty much supportive now with my plans of working abroad unlike before. They are even the one’s pushing me to keep on applying online and taking my chances wherever life takes me. It’s such a shame that I lacked the effort to really pursue their dreams for me for the past six months now.

BUT, like I said, I’m bouncing back. I am now focusing on my goal – road to becoming a registered nurse outside Philippines. Thanks to my dearest friends who already took and passed the exam for sharing their review materials and some words of advice too especially, for a first – timer like me. As of the moment, I’m still searching for a trusted review center where I can crash in and study while juggling on my schedule at work. While doing so, I’m somewhat leading and encouraging myself to focus on my self – review as well and so far, I’m doing quite good with it.

I also want to share with you about my life as an Emergency Nurse for a year and two months now. It’s dreadful. toxic, unhealthy, stressful, tough, and everything mind – blowing and heart – wrenching but above all these negative vibes that I felt – I AM BLESSED. I’m blessed because I am able to witness adrenaline – rush kind of scenarios almost everyday. I’m blessed because I can encounter different people of all walks of life and see eye to eye the true meaning life through them. I’m blessed because I am faced with so many dilemmas that I thought could only happen in movies and dramas and slowly surpassed them without freaking out or chickening away. I’m blessed because no matter how crazy our admins are or how my seniors treat me in such a way that intimidates me to push myself forward – I can still be myself and I can still work under their suspicious, doubtful, and belittling eyes. All I know is, I am who I am and for as long as I am not hurting anyone, life goes on.

You know little young ones, I’m really good at giving good words to uplift someone’s spirit up. I remembered what my favorite mentor told me before he spent his last day as our Supervisor, he said, “I’m like a little sunshine in fleeting colors” and I’m trying to keep it that way. And even if I’m easily affected by so many things around me and gets so emotional sometimes, I’m always giving my best shot to separate work from my personal life. I’m always all in when it comes to my career and how to really improve my skills and become an efficient nurse to my patients. Same goes with how I balanced my time without compromising my health although sometimes it’s quite tricky and challenging. I’m trying to be my own kind of superhero in me, I guess.

Well, this is all for now little young ones and I promise that this won’t be the last. Now that I have retrieved my access to my WordPress again *I got locked out because I forgot my password*, I can now share more things with you. I’ll be back for more of my Weekly Updates and random talks with you soon.

I miss you little young ones and I couldn’t wait to spend quality time with my safe haven which is blogging.

Love,

Your Pandora♄

P.S. Always appreciate the little things.

02.02

 

 

Fight PESSIMISM. 

Time check, it’s almost 11:23 PM and I am here trying to block all the negative vibes away before I tuck myself to sleep but it seems like it is slightly not working.

Why?

I must admit that today’s my kind of lazy day. And there’s nothing wrong if the only thing that we did today is just ‘minimal work’. I know, we all have this kind of day where all we want to do is cuddle our pillow and stay in bed for the longest time possible.

And again, that’s okay.

Sometimes but not always of course! 

It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that I am not so good with the aftermath. If you know mean.  Then I asked myself why am I feeling like this? Well the answer is as clear as the water for me – I’ve been thinking and thinking of so many things and people and stuff and workloads the day after my last day in the office. There were good things and bad things to think of. Some I was able to worked out already and some are just too unpredictable. And thinking alone drained me out, how much more if I act on those things already?

Good thing I decided to check on Marc and Angel’s blog and I was able to read an old post where they focus on fighting negativity. It enlightened my mind and gave me enough courage to not be so easily affected by my thoughts, the negative ones specifically. After reading that post, I realized that I have to do something to kick this negative vibes off of me that’s causing me to be lazy and overthink. Because yes, sometimes these negative thoughts make me think too much to the point that I could no longer do anything. And right now I am encouraging you little young ones to answer these random questions with me so that we can reflect on them whenever we  feel like going through some bumpy roads or when we start doubting ourselves – by then we can just run through these questions again with our answers and be inspired. Are you ready?

20 Questions That Would Free Your Mind From Negativity

 

 

  1. What could you be grateful for and positive about right now, if you really wanted to? I have always been grateful with so many things in my life even for those unwanted ones that truly made me cry. And today’s an example because even if I feel so down overthinking about a lot of things I am still grateful that I was able to wake up and saw Mr. Sun this morning. I was able to spend time playing with my raggy puppy Munchy. My Mamadearest and I had some crazy time laughing over something not so funny but we laughed so hard anyway. My Papadearest was also here today and I let him try our new massage chair and he was happy. These are just some of the things that happened today that I am thankful for and I am rooting for more moments like these. 

  2. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have? Death of a loved one. I know that we couldn’t stop death from happening but I am more than thankful that my family is still complete despite all the challenges and issues. 

  3. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? Competing with time. Why? I have always believe that time is precious and tricky. If we don’t value our time wisely while we are still here in this world then we will end up regretting on the things that we should have done or should’ve not, words that we should’ve said or not said, and even those times where we try to conceal our own pain even if we shouldn’t. And though I couldn’t promise that I could let go of this completely but I can always give it a try and try harder. 

  4. Who, or what, needs your forgiveness? Myself. For what? For putting myself last but I have no issues with it though. I am happy to be of service and making use of my time helping others and letting them see that there is still hope especially to my family and closest friends. 

  5. What’s the right thing to do? To be kind always even when nobody sees it, appreciates it, or believes it. 

  6. What’s something nice you can do for someone else right now? To cheer them up! 

  7. What compliments have you received lately? “You’re very approachable” said by the nurses who also took the exam yesterday. We were only 6 applicants and we were so awkward sitting there in the room not talking to each other so I initiated the conversation and it really went well. And now we are all excited to start with the training as batch mates. 😉 

  8. What do you know you’re great at? Encouraging others and listening to them. 

  9. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Nothing. I am contented with who I am and what I am. Besides I would still be judge whether I change or not.

  10. What activities help you feel most like yourself? Anything related to art or something that I am so happy doing about with the closest people in my life. 

  11. What gets you excited about life? Everything. Every little thing in this world has its own magic and wonder. 

  12. What excuses do you need to stop making? “I will try” because this is the most common for me and I should stop this. Like really. 

  13. If you learn from your mistakes, why are you always so afraid to make a mistake? Because it serves as a precaution or a reminder. But I think it’s not that we are afraid to commit mistakes because we are bound to make them rather we are more afraid of the effect of the mistake that we might do especially if it involves the people that we value the most. 

  14. When was the unexpected better than what you expected? I could not really distinguish when but I encountered a lot of unexpected better than what I expected things to happened. Indeed, we act on our plans but the Man above’s way is always the best.

  15. What do you now know better for next time? Being lazy is okay but not always. Let’s get physical and be more productive by honing our passion and craft. 

  16. What’s the next best step forward from here? Since I am not yet sleepy, I’ll finish my journal. I’ll try to be creative with it by applying those tips that I learned from some DIY Vlogs. I’ll also keep track with my goals and to-do list. 📃 😉

  17. What’s priceless about this moment? Seeing my parents smiling while sharing their thoughts about going home to our hometown so that they can spend quality time with Baby Zachy and my brother. 

  18. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Right now. 

  19. Who do you need to spend less time with? PEOPLE who complain a lot. I mean, there’s nothing wrong if things get messy and that you really need to butt in and stand for what you think should be right but then again – IT SHOULD BE RIGHT. Do you agree with me little young ones? 

  20. How have insignificant past rejections messed with your self-confidence? Pretty real. I had a hard time adjusting before knowing that my self-confidence was really distorted back then. I cried a lot but it’s different now. I’ve learned to adjust and go with the flow without being too emotionally or mentally affected by rejections or failures. Though from time to time I still get hurt but not like before. 


Alrighty little young ones, how do you feel after answering all these questions? Do you feel better, lighter or more optimistic about your life right now? I hope you do because this is what I am feeling right now too, I feel better. But if it’s a NO then no pressure, give yourself enough time to prepare and adjust. Okay? 
So this is all for tonight little young ones. Happy Friday once again and in a couple of minutes more it’s already Saturday. So if you’re planning to go to the beach with your family, or you are road tripping with your significant someone,  or be somewhere outside with your squad, or just at home and have quality time with your bed or whatever it is that you have in mind, always remember to cherish and spend your time wisely. Do not let negative vibes ruin your moment to shine. 

Nightynight little young ones. 😘

Random Questions on the 1st of February.

Here we go again.

I know it’s kinda late for me to greet you on the 1st day of February *because obviously it’s already the 3rd of February* and an advance greetings for Valentines Day as well, right? But know that I am still here and always and right now I have another round of random, thought – provoking, mind – blowing and sometimes heart – quenching questions for you and for myself too. Are you ready little young ones? I hope you are.

I got these random questions on Thought Catalog and I am very happy and excited to share these because it somewhat help us assess ourselves a little bit more. Why? It gives us the opportunity to venture how grounded we are in terms of loving ourselves and the kind of importance we are giving our decisions and ideas to the people around us. So here it goes:

  1. Are you doing something you love? YES! Blogging, pigging – out, and spending quality time with the people I love.
  2. Are you comfortable being single? YES! I am happy and comfortable but I have always been open to change that status until someone would help me discover what “love” and “falling in love” to a different degree. Why not, right?
  3. Do you have at least a little money saved? YES! Emergency fund is a must.
  4. Are you taking responsibility for your actions? Almost always. I hate blaming games.
  5. Are you financially supporting yourself? YES! But I am still living with my parents.
  6. Have you stopped settling in relationships? NO! I am rooting to build genuine relationships with different people at different levels and of different pace. Like I said, I am more open to opportunities this time. It’s a small world with so many mysteries after all.
  7. Are you associating with people who make you better? YES! But somewhat both on the positive and negative side. I just need to manage and be critically wise with how I handle them, myself, and my emotions.
  8. Are you involved in a group or organization that gives you purpose? YES!
  9. Do you have a list of goals to strive to works towards every day? YES! I keep track with my goals. I have a list actually.
  10. Are you comfortable with who you are? Sometimes, not. LOL. But I love myself and that’s something that I am very, very, very sure of.
  11. Have you gone on a trip that changed you or are you planning to? YES! And I miss traveling again. Maybe next year, not now. I need to focus on my career first.
  12. Do you have a list of qualities you look for in a potential partner? YES! I mean, I believe we all have, right? What are those? Hmm. I’ll share that to you little young ones once I found him already. For now, the searching and waiting  game is on.
  13. If you met them would you have the courage and confidence to pursue him? Because I am the woman, NO. But if I am really interested and eager to know him, why not. Love is a two way process, it should never be a ‘solo’ flight.
  14. Do you walk away from situations or people that don’t add value to your life? Both a yes and no. I try my best not to react right away because for me emotional response cuts deeper and I really don’t like the feeling of hurting someone or crossing their limits without any basis. I don’t want others to that to me too so why should I do something hurtful to them, right? *Though it’s not always the case for some.*
  15. Have you stopped causing drama in your life and or others? YES!  I just realized that people will always say something towards you after all.
  16. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Both a yes and a no. My family is not perfect and my relationship with my parents is not that flawless as well but we always make sure that we settle any issues and solve it day after day after day. especially with my Mamadearest.
  17. Have you forgiven yourself for your past? I did. There are still some past issues that needs to be rekindled and reconciled and resolved. I am taking my time to really see the good side of things and I am not rushing myself to jump to any crazy conclusions and solutions without preparing myself.
  18. Have you fallen in love at least once? YES!
  19. Have you stopped making up excuses in your life? Sometimes.
  20. Do you support a political party and understand why? NONE. I am more on the private organizations because I believe they deliver faster and direct aid to those who truly need the assistance the most.
  21. Do you have a career mentor and someone you look up to for guidance? Yes, I have. I could not mention them all but I do have.
  22. Are you spending money responsibly? This time, yes.
  23. Do you read books often that help you to improve yourself? YES!
  24. Are you a little selfish? Somewhat YES,  because giving too much is an abuse to self. I can be selfless, like BIG TIME – I just need to distinguish the right people that I can be selfless with. I learned from my past.
  25. Are you happy? YES and YES!

 

Were you able to answer these questions already little young ones? I hope you do BUT no pressure. The same way that I remind myself always, to be more patient in terms of decision – making because what we do, think, and say now could make or break us. So we have to be very wise and sensitive. We have to set different strategies and back – up plans every single time because Mother Earth is our battlefield but if have a war within ourselves then it’s a bad sign. Do you agree?

Anyhow, enjoy and start your Friday with a smile little young ones. 🙂

365 Questions to Ask Myself before 2017: Last Batch of 30 Questions plus Five

happy-friday-piglet-car-ride

Look at that piggyyyyyyy! ♄ ♄ ♄

It looks so jubilant. How about you little young ones, are you happy today? I hope you are because there is always a reason to smile, to be happy, to love, and to live. Don’t carry the burdens and pains of the world alone. Let us allow Him, the Man above, to carry the rest for us. Like I said, if Earth is our battlefield then this is not just our battle alone, it’s His too.

The reason why I am so hyped and delighted today it’s because my nephew was already discharged from the hospital. I felt so relieved. We went home before noon time since his last blood work results were fine as what we have prayed for. Then last night, I had a good time with my close high school friends. We pigged – out a lot as our way of celebrating Christmas and New Year all at once. We did a lot of talking, laughing, bullying, and selfie – taking too. It was also our payday yesterday and so we received our incentive bonus for the month of November already. We felt *big time* after seeing our pay slips. HAHA! Today is also our last duty for this year and my feet is itching to go home already in my hometown. It’s Rizal’s Day today too. And a lot, lot more of reasons to be happy and to stay blessed. See? Life maybe harsh sometimes but remember that if for the past days it was so gloomy and undeniably crazy for you then there will always be some days of redemption too. *smirking*

Anyways, I also have another reason to celebrate and be happy and I hope that we are rocking on the same boat too. Are we little young ones? HEHE. We finally reached the last thirty plus five questions! It means to say, we are now on our twelfth and last batch of Marc Chernoff’s 365 questions. We rock it!

Let’s start it right now and together let us make an oath that one day we’ll look back on our answers five years from now and witnessed how we beautifully unfold our lives either by abiding to our answers or not. Deal? *wink*

365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself This Year

  1. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid? Time – machine.
  2. What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping? That I was assigned to the Emergency Room and a Staff Nurse told me that I can be the next ER Charge Nurse. HEHE. Let it be, please.
  3. What confuses you? If I’ll be able to get married before I reached 30 or I’ll be single for life. HAHA. Kidding. I’m not in a rush though but my family, relatives, and friends are. LOL
  4. In what way are you your own worst enemy? When I do something bad then I have already told myself that I’ll just be disappointed if I’ll do it but I still do it anyways.
  5. When did you not speak up when you should have? When things are so chaotic and I know that the people so dear to me would be affected so hard if I open my mouth. So I just listen instead of talking.
  6. What is your favorite quote? “The less you give a damn, the happier you will be”.
  7. What is your favorite fictional story?  (novel, movie, fairytale, etc.) Nicholas Sparks’ work of art that turned into top – selling and most loved movies.
  8. Where or who do you turn to when you need good advice? My parents and few chosen friends too.
  9. What artistic medium do you use to express yourself? Writing poems, taking pictures, and the kind of genre of music that I listen to when I could not speak for myself.
  10. Who or what is the greatest enemy of mankind? Pride and greed
  11. What’s something you wish you had done earlier in life? Exerted enough effort and the determination of not giving up easily. I was such a weakling before.
  12. What is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life? My parents separating. It’s both fearful and heartbreaking for me.
  13. How do you deal with isolation and loneliness? I try to be as open – minded as possible. I divert myself to do something productive. Random getaways and pigging out with my family and friends.
  14. What do you know well enough to teach to others? That good and well – deserved things and events happen to those who patiently wait with effort and a lot of faith. Just keep praying!
  15. What’s a quick decision you once made that changed your life? That I need to be bold and fierce in standing on my decisions. I’m indecisive most of the time. My family and friends are aware that I am like this. And when I decided to travel alone, I made it happened and it really helped me a lot now when I make decisions.
  16. What have you lost interest in recently? So far – NONE.
  17. What makes life easier? When we only focus on the good instead of the bad.
  18. What was the last thing you furiously argued about with someone? SCHEDULE and forced leave at work. I just don’t understand it.
  19. What job would you never do no matter how much it paid? Prostitution.
  20. What is the number one solution to healing the world? Prayer.
  21. What could society do without? Freedom of speech.
  22. What stresses you out? Nosy people fighting or arguing over petty reasons.
  23. Now that it’s behind you, what did you do last week that was memorable? Celebrate Christmas with my family. It’s always memorable when I’m with them.
  24. Where do you spend most of your time while you’re awake? Office ⇒ home ⇒ dream land. HAHA!
  25. What makes someone a hero? Fighting for their faith.
  26. When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping? When people question me about my status and why I behave like this. I wish I could tell them loudly and straight, “THIS IS HOW I AM RAISED PEOPLE AND I AM NOT ASHAMED”.
  27. When was the last time you felt lucky? Everyday! Not just lucky but blessed either it’s a bad day or a good day or both.
  28. When did you first realize that life is short? When I saw my Mama and Papa fighting over our custody. Thoughts like, “If I’ll be with my Mama then I wished I had spend more quality time with my Papa and vice versa”. It was scary but good thing that they did not separated. We’re a one big happy family, still and always.
  29. What is the most insensitive thing a person can do? Mocking someone’s family without basis. I just can’t stand it.
  30. What can someone do to grab your attention? Art. Anything to do with art. Singing, playing instruments, eye – catching photographs, writing.
  31. What do you usually think about on your drive home from work? My pillow and bed. HAHA. Kidding. It depends on my mood and state of sanity level. HAHA.
  32. What’s one downside of the modern day world? Chivalry is slowly dying. I hate it that writing love letters and formal courtship are now done through texting. #sadtruth
  33. What simple fact do you wish more people understood? That sometimes staying silent is the best way to understand not just someone but oneself.
  34. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything? It’s a waste of time. I’d rather not. I’ll just carry on and learned from it.
  35. How would you describe your future in three words? TOUGH IT THROUGH! Whatever my future will be, I’ll do whatever it takes to stay true to myself.

 

And I just can’t believe I have finished answering all of these questions day after day after day. It really takes time to finish something but if you really exert not just effort but passion in doing something, we’d really achieve something fulfilling at the end. And oh! I can’t stop poking my cheeks. 44041-oh-my-god-despicable-me-gif-fj5t

Anyways, little young ones before the year ends I will also be posting something about what I’ve learned this 2016 and what I look forward for the coming year. I hope you’re still with me and let’s create more and more and more happy moments so that we would scare the bad vibes away.

We have pondered and reflected on these questions together and I hope that we will always put these words into actions *the positive ones* especially. Stay blessed and always, always, and always be a blessing to others little young ones. That’s what matters most. I love you earthlings. ♄

365 Questions to Ask Myself before 2017: Eleventh Batch of 30 Questions

I have a lot of things to share to you little young ones and *I know* I said that I’d do whatever it takes just to update my blog and you guys out there during Christmas time but I wasn’t able to do so and I’m very sorry that I didn’t. As expected, my internet connection was playing joke on me and tons and tons of workload came on my way unexpectedly.

Anyhow, I’m already here and although I’m tired and exhausted *which I’ll let you know why later* but I’ll make the best out of the available time that I have here in the office to finish my eleventh batch of thirty questions. Just imagine that! I only have thirty – five questions more to go an I’m done. BRAVO to me and to you little young ones who have answered with me. We’re almost done! Yahoo!

So let’s start with my second to the last thirty questions. here they go. 🙂

365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself This Year

  1. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend? Someone I can trust, someone who listens, and would tell me straight to my face if I’m losing track with my sanity level.
  2. What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity? Ordinary people doing charity work even if they themselves don’t have enough to suffice their own needs.
  3. What is your favorite smell? Lavender.
  4. What recent memory makes you smile the most? When one of the panelist told me that I do have that smile that could uplift someone’s sad day and turned it sunny and bright *these adjectives were the exact words he used* because I look cheerful and warm.
  5. In one word, how would you describe your childhood? Ecstatic.
  6. What celebrities do you admire?  Why? Transparent. It means that they don’t care if they are a celebrity. They are still human.
  7. What is the number one motivator in your life right now? My own. My life goals.
  8. What music do you listen to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down? Upbeat songs both local and international and even Korean pop songs. Praise and worship songs like Kari Jobe’s “Steady My Heart”.
  9. If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy? A hospital and a factory full of medicines and medical supplies and equipment.
  10. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Kim Hee Chul’s savage videos. His trash – talking and pick – up lines are just unstoppable and crazy.
  11. What is your biggest pet peeve? Nosy people. >.<
  12. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? My nephew. Baby Zachy.
  13. What is your biggest phobia? Enclosed places. I’m claustrophobic, by the way.
  14. What are some recent compliments you’ve received? Hmmm. “You’re eyes smile suits you”, “You’re cheerful”, “You’re so motherly”, and “You’re crazy ideas and views are useful, most of the time”. HAHA! These compliments are very good to my ears but a simple smile and a genuine thank you would be enough. Like really enough.
  15. How many friends do you have in real life that you talk to regularly? I can just count them with my fingers.
  16. How much money per month is enough for you to live comfortably? It depends on some occasion but I can manage.
  17. When was your first impression of someone totally wrong? I couldn’t remember.
  18. How many hours a week do you spend online? I’m not good with numbers but I spend 3 – 4 hours daily and it differs on weekends.
  19. What do you love to do? *Spacing out* Kidding. Just gathering my thoughts and use them for better purposes.
  20. What specific character trait do you want to be known for? Loving regardless if it’s reciprocated or not.
  21. Are you more like your mom or your dad?  In what way? Papa. We’re like twins in almost all aspects.
  22. What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader? With so much passion with his or her words and put them into action.
  23. What bad habits do you want to break? *Lying* like saying “I’ll do this and that ” but I lost track with time.
  24. What is your favorite place on Earth? With my family.
  25. What do you love to practice? Calligraphy and writing songs with a musical instrument this time.
  26. What questions do you often ask yourself? “Am I enough?”
  27. What are you an expert at? Sleeping and eating. HEHE.
  28. How would an extra $1000 a month change your life? It’s enough to support my training days in the hospital. Like really!
  29. What things in life should always be free? LOVE.
  30. What is your favorite time of the year? Christmas Season.

 

Indeed, I can tell myself that I am productive today though I still have a lot of things to accomplish for today. But still I started my day right. Have you also done the same? Again little young ones I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to update you for the past five days. I know. Alibis and reasons. I, myself, don’t like it and so do you but I will still tell you why.

I have already mentioned to you before that my internet connection their in my hometown is so slow. On the 24th of December, we had a small gathering at our home in Sogod. So we let go of our gadgets just for that day except during picture taking time. And on the 25th, I was tasked by my Mamadearest to do some general cleaning and I couldn’t disagree because our home was a total mess after our mini – party. Then the day after Christmas, I came back to the city with my Mamadearest and nephew because Baby Zachy was sick. Little did we know that he was already on a serious condition and the day after that *in short, yesterday* we admitted him to the hospital. I took a time off from work as well to watch over my nephew. He was diagnosed with Dengue Fever and we just couldn’t let him stay at home and do nothing. He needs some monitoring and series of laboratory works that’s why I am still exhausted today because I monitored him very closely. I didn’t get enough sleep because I am not just his Aunt but I am a nurse as well, I know the critical signs and symptoms of Dengue. I just couldn’t afford doing other stuff, that’s why. I hope you do understand little young ones. But right now, we are still waiting for the result of his second round of CBC and I hope his platelets are up already. Please pray with me little young ones.

So this is all for today. I know I have already missed a couple of daily segments but I’ll make it up to you. Okay  –  dokay?

Enjoy the rest of your Thursday little young ones. Let it be filled with joy and laughter and love and hope and everything nice. Don’t be scared with the negative and the bad, let’s braved them through together. I love you little young ones. 🙂 ♄

 

 

 

365 Questions to Ask Myself before 2017: Tenth Batch of 30 Questions

 

Are you starting your day right little young ones? Because I am. Not just because I am trying to be productive here in my blog but even outside my “blogverse”. HEHE! I have a very long to – do list to accomplish today and I seriously somehow felt a bit off because of my new hair but I’ll moved on. Eventually. HAHA.

I honestly just cut my long hair little young ones. Like 5 inches off and I felt emotional every time I think of it. HAHA. Well oh well, my hair will get longer and longer anytime soon. I’ll better keep that thought to calm me down because there are a lot of things that I need to focus on to other than feeling sepanx *separation anxiety* with my hair like my gifts for my dearest loved ones that I haven’t wrapped yet, I still have to buy some more gifts, and I need to prepare for more stuff for the Christmas Eve too.

And included in my to – do list for today is to answer my tenth batch of thirty questions. Can you believe it? In short I have already answered  three hundred questions and I still have sixty – five questions more to go and I’m done with Marc Chernoff’s amazing, mind – boggling, and helpful questions. So let’s get it started then little young ones.

365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself This Year

  1. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing? Being in a relationship.
  2. Who would you like to please the most? My Mamadearest. She is not easily lure, swayed, and tamed. Trust me. HAHA.
  3. If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed? My expenses. HAHA
  4. When you meet someone for the very first time what do you want them to think about you? That I am a warm person *easy to be with despite my intimidating aura*.
  5. Who would you like to forgive? Myself.
  6. At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone? When I first experienced heartbreak. We’re not even official but I felt like I was broken into pieces and just got lost somewhere at some point.
  7. What is one opportunity you believe you missed out on when you were younger? To graduate elementary and high school with honors. I messed up with my studies and extra – curricular activities. I should have done better.
  8. What do you want more of in your life? Time. More quality time.
  9. What do you want less of in your life? Fears.
  10. Who depends on you? My family. My friends. My puppy.
  11. Who has had the greatest impact on your life? My parents.
  12. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Why? I am happy. Because even though I have a lot of complains with my current job because it’s not in – line with my profession but I have met so many amazing people with different personalities and traits, made friends with few people whom I can easily be with and share deeper connections with, and a lot of first – time encounters that are not so common in the hospital. But I would be even happier if I could also have this kind of moments in the hospital soon – me being a nurse again.
  13. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different? I have enough savings, I’m already a regular nurse in the hospital, and I’ll be more proactive in making family decisions.
  14. How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years? I cut off connections to the world and distant myself when I find that my comfort zone will be at stake or terrorized. And I am aware that it’s wrong and that’s why now I am trying to loosen up myself, getting myself lost *the good kind of lost* while in the process of discovering something more within myself, and just being free.
  15. Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job? Experience. Travel. Friends.
  16. Whom do you secretly envy?  Why? SECRET. Why? Secret again. HAHA.
  17. In twenty years, what do you want to remember? That I was an outgoing, adrenaline junky, warm – hearted, and very loving woman to my family, friends, and to every one else I met in this worldly life.
  18. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today? Me working back again in the hospital again. Me travelling with my dearest friends. Me opening myself to a new chapter of my life as a woman *being in a relationship* maybe. Just maybe. But I am excited.
  19. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most? That at times of sorrow and pain, aside from your family and friends whom you call as your support system, it is a must to never ran out of reasons to love yourself more and more. Being our own hero is never and will never be a bad thing.  
  20. What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years? When we went to Bohol to celebrate my father and sister’s birthday. It was our first ever get – away as a family. It was my family’s first – ever travel crossing an ocean for 2 hours and staying to a place we’ve never been.
  21. How many hours of television do you watch in a week?  A month?  A year? I’m not a television kind of girl but I do watch or stream a lot on my phone. Like truly a lot.
  22. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now? Hmmm. Aside from finances to suffice me and my hospital training journey but also my health. I need to be physically ready anytime soon for my training.
  23. What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t? Some people’s way of thinking about marriage. We have different views and norms though, so I try to understand them without judging them.
  24. What do you like most about your job?  What do you dislike most about your job? I could encourage my members in their weight loss journey and help them see the advantage of preventing major health complications to get in their way. Dislike? Level 5 noise from insensitive colleagues, sometimes.
  25. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself? That I am okay with the “no-make-up-just-lipstick-kind-of-look” whenever and wherever although I have been use to it for quite a while now. HAHA! Because I easily get conscious since I have to look presentable and physically present in front of my students (and not look like  a zombie). HAHA.
  26. In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother? We are constantly building a room full of hope and love and understanding without bickering and worrying about each other because there is respect and trust in every corner and edges of the room. My Mamadearest knows that too.
  27. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year? Traveling SOLO. I made it memorable and enjoyable.
  28. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months? To be more frugal and patient.
  29. What makes you feel secure? When I know that my family is healthy and intact.
  30. What is your favorite sound? Sound of the ocean waves while I am sitting calmly in the seashore.

This is all for now little young ones. I’ll try my very best to update you this  weekend and post something as well since I’ll be going home to my hometown to celebrate Christmas there with my family.  The internet connection there is not so good but I will not use that as an excuse. I’ll keep you posted. No worries.

It’s just two more days to go and it’s the Man Above’s birthday already. I hope that we have prepared not just our presents but our presence for Him as well. Before Santa, Jesus Christ first, alright?

I hope you are all having a merry and wonderful Friday. Let us all spend our time wisely with our family and friends. Let’s go to church or attend to the service. Offer something to those who will be singing Christmas carols outside our house or to those random people whom we will meet outside and are asking for our blessings. Remember, it is always better to give than to receive.

I love you earthlings. I love you little young ones. Be good always. ♄

Happy fly day Friday 🙂

 

365 Questions to Ask Myself before 2017: Ninth Batch of 30 Questions

Today is a slow – paced Wednesday for me because I am not feeling well but I’ll try to be active and productive today little young ones. So let’s keep the numbers rolling until we’ll be able to finally answer all the 365 questions set by Marc Chernoff.

And for now, I am on my ninth batch of thirty questions *it means that I’m only three more batches plus five questions to go and I’m done!* How about you little young ones? I hope that we’re on the same track and if not, I hope you’re giving your best shot to answer the remaining questions heartily. No pressure. Take your time to contemplate on those questions well and while your doing so, please enjoy reading my answers too. 🙂

365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself This Year

  1. What are you uncertain about? I might ran out of time.
  2. What do you think about when you lie awake in bed? Priorities over fears.
  3. What’s something most people don’t know about you? That I am seriously an open book but full of phrases, open statements and questions, and blank pages waiting to be unveiled.
  4. When you have a random hour of free time, what do you usually do? SLEEP. Watch Korean series, play with Munchy, and read.
  5. What makes you weird? That I am an old soul. People find that weird but I love it. So I don’t care.
  6. If you could relive yesterday what would you do differently? Never mind. I let bygones be bygones. I have to focus on what is NOW.
  7. What do you do over and over again that you hate doing? Lying either intentionally or unintentionally within myself and to others. And I hate it.
  8. Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent? Neither. I would love my child to grow with wisdom, courage, and have a deep faith.
  9. What white lies do you often tell? “I’m okay”
  10. What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year? I’m more aware and sensitive on how I react to certain things (not to pretend as well) and be mindful with my decisions too.
  11. What do you understand today about your life that you did not understand a year ago? That tolerating your friends bad habits could really create a gap between you so you better help them see them ahead.
  12. Whose life have you had the greatest impact on? My Mama.
  13. What did life teach you yesterday? To forgive and to extend my patience.
  14. Who impresses you? My nephew. He is such a very bright and charming kiddo.
  15. What have you done that you are not proud of? Lying.
  16. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal? Never. It’s a secret. I’ll keep it for good.
  17. How would you spend your ideal day? Honestly, an ideal day for me is like spending half of my day playing with my puppy, cooking meal for my Mama, watching one or two episodes of the Korean drama that I am currently hooked on to, then nap and the remaining half of the day I would spend it with my friends like pigging out since I don’t have a significant other to spend half of my day with for now and the night time would be family time again, of course.
  18. What is the one primary quality you look for in a significant other? He must be TRUSTWORTHY.
  19. What do you admire most about your mother and father? They’re both upright, responsible, and seriously dependable.
  20. What is the best advice you have ever received? I actually have a lot but what I always remember the most is this, “Be the light in the dark and take the lead”, said the Pastor not just solely for me but for everyone else who attended that service.
  21. If you could live forever, would you want to?  Why? NO. I would love to live eternally where the Man above lives. Because all things in the world are just temporary. I would love to age gracefully and die a naturally death.
  22. If you had to be someone else for one day, who would you be and why? My shadow. HAHA. Maybe Kate Middleton. I would love to be a princess for a day. LOL.
  23. What positive changes have you made in your life recently? To challenge myself to be more and more frugal. Was it effective? Somewhat, yes. HAHA.
  24. Who makes you feel good about yourself? People who sees the best and worst side of me but still chose to stay.
  25. What is your biggest regret? Too many to mention for now but I am slowly trying to correct them, one step at a time. I don’t want to die in this world full of regrets. I’m slowly trying to. I really am.
  26. Which one of your responsibilities do you wish you could get rid of? Working on a night shift but I know I’ll never get totally get rid of it once I’ll be working in the hospital again (shifting of schedules are common) but at least it won’t be having a straight graveyard shift always. Finally after 2 years!
  27. What’s something you don’t like to do that you are still really good at? It’s not that I don’t like to do it but I rarely do it nowadays  and it’s composing songs. Whenever I am on an empty space and there’s some calm music somewhere I try to brainstorm some words from current events, situations, issues in my mind and try to compose a song out from it. It’s fun.
  28. What type of person angers you the most? Liars and cheaters (in a relationship).
  29. What is missing in your life? Nothing. I am complete despite my flaws and imperfections. I may not have enough but I am not incomplete. I am whole.
  30. What is your most striking physical attribute? My eyes. #eyesmile

 

And yes! I was able to pull the thirty questions off for today. How about you little young ones? What number are you now? or Which batch of thirty questions are still at? I hope we’re on the same track so that we would finish all of the 365 questions together. But please do answer it with your heart, and mind, and soul in it so that when the time comes like let’s say five or ten years from now and you feel bored and you want something to read on to, you can just check on your answers and be surprised with what you have answered. Would that be amazing? I am excited for myself as well.

Anyhow, I’ll be meeting Chamen later after my shift today. I hope that we’ll have a productive time together because I miss conversing with her. And I also hope that you will have a productive, fun, and wonderful Wednesday little young ones.

Stay safe 🙂

365 Questions to Ask Myself before 2017: Eighth Batch of 30 Questions

 

I was a bit disappointed with myself because I was supposed to post something about Jeric a.k.a Bossly, my guy best friend,  yesterday as my Throwback Thursday segment because it was his birthday the other day, however, time did not allow me to. Why? Because my Mama and I were so busy rush buying in downtown area for our relatives and dearest loved ones gifts. Mama felt that I was so busy doing chores here and there and she thought I actually forgot about our plan. Anyhow, I’ll just post it next Thursday then.

For now, I’ll keep you posted for my next batch of 30 questions. I believe this is my eighth batch already, right? I lost track because of the random questions popping in and out here in drafts. Well, which set of thirty questions are you in now? Because today I’m now down to two hundred forty (240) questions and there are still one hundred twenty – five (125) questions more that needs to be pondered and contemplated on to. HAHA! I know, it’s  quite a number but let’s give our best shot to answer each and every question with our hearts and soul in it before we hit 2017.

365 Thought Provoking Questions to Ask Yourself This Year

  1. What will you never give up on? My faith.
  2. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most? Moments. Good and bad.
  3. How would you describe the past year of your life in one sentence? Surreal.
  4. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Saying “yes” to unplanned get – away or invites.
  5. What makes you uncomfortable? Being in a crowded places with unfamiliar faces.
  6. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss the most? People.
  7. What worries you about the future? That I would not be able to make it in the future.
  8. What one ‘need’ and one ‘want’ will you strive to achieve in the next twelve months? Need? A stable nursing career with good earnings and lots and lots of amazing experiences. Want? More savings. HAHA!
  9. What life lessons did you have to experience firsthand before you fully understood them? To trust and to be lied to.
  10. Do you like the city or town you live in?  Why or why not? My home town, Sogod,  it is amazing there. I like it because the air is fresh, it’s near the beach, it’s surrounded by mountains though people are starting to steal it’s beauty, and lastly I can see sun and the moon’s reflection every day and every night.
  11. What’s the best part of being you? I’m like a sponge and you know how a sponge works right? Well that’s me.
  12. When you look back over the past month, what single moment stands out? November. Hmmm. Let me think. A lot. Everything stood out.
  13. What do you do to relieve stress? Sleep. Eat. Watch Korean dramas. Blog. Pigging out with my dearest friends.
  14. What is your happiest memory? When my baby brother was born and Zachy came in the picture. Picturesque.
  15. What is your saddest memory? My Mommy Gloria’s death.
  16. What would you like to change? My bad habits.
  17. How many people do you love? So many that I can put them in a book, gave them characters, and keep them forever.
  18. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made? Saying NO to drugs.
  19. What’s your favorite true story that you enjoy sharing with others? My parents story of love.
  20. Right now, at this moment, what do you want most? Stable nursing career job. Boyfriend? Just kidding.
  21. What are you waiting for?  How are you writing your life’s story? I am waiting for nothing because every single day I am taking baby steps to keep moving forward. Though there might be some lazy days, scary days, crazy days, insane days, and fleeting days and other bad vibe days but I will not be shaken. I must keep grounded. I must keep moving forward.
  22. What makes love last? Trust.
  23. What good comes from suffering? Lessons and experiences.
  24. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the last year? To save not just for leisure but for basic necessities and emergency situations especially about health.
  25. Based on you current daily actions and routines, where would you expect to be in five years? I’ll become an efficient and dependable ICU or ER Nurse and a very loving and passionate wife and mother.
  26. What was your last major accomplishment? Traveling SOLO.
  27. Through all of life’s twists and turns who has been there for you? The Man above, my family, and few chosen friends.
  28. What or who has been distracting you? Gathering my requirements for my hospital hopping.
  29. What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week? Christmas, The Man above’s birthday
  30. Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them? My parents and my experiences. What I’ve learned? A lot. Who and what I am now is because of them.

I finished it! I thought I wouldn’t be able to post something today. Anyhow, it’s already Friday, I hope that we would be able to kick off our workloads early so that we will all have a happy and productive weekend. And oh! It’s the first day of Simbang Gabi (Dawn Rosary) here in the Philippines. I hope that some of you have attended the mas unlike me because of my duty schedule but still I will not make any excuses or alibis. I’ll go to church today after my shift.

Have a fruitful Friday little young ones. Be blessed. I love you. 🙂