Poet – try 💙

stare

 

Her thoughts of him are in kaleidoscope.

And his?

It’s blank space.

Completely nothing.

 

-ElyWrites

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Wala ka.

 

Disclaimer: I have written this poem while I was listening to a spoken poetry on YouTube. I am not sure if you are familiar with this but it’s actually like an open mic where you are given the chance to stand there in front of the crowd, express yourself either impromptu or if you have already written a piece and your just going to read it out loud to everyone. I have almost tried it once but I already told you little young ones I am shy and I kind of lack some confidence to read my piece so I just quietly sit still at the venue that time. But this piece that I am going to share is like a response to what that girl have shared in the video. I cried while listening and watching her perform. Though it’s written in a Filipino language but I’m going to share my thoughts later as to why I have written it. So here it goes:

Malalim na ang gabi.
Pero heto pa rin ako.
Kinakausap ang mga tala.
Nananalangin kay Bathala.
Nakikiusap ng lubosan sa Kanya.
Na sana.
Sana.
Paggising ko.
Kasama na kita.

Ang totoo.
Tandang – tanda  ko ang lahat.
Pero pilit ko na kinakalimutan.
Sinusubukan kong labanan.
Ang pagpasok ng realidad sa aking isipan.
Kasi baka di kayanin ng puso ko.
Yong hinagpis at sakit ng katotohanan.

Kasi.
Hindi ko alam.
Kung paano magsisimula.
O may dapat pa ba akong simulant?
Kung sa paggising ko bukas makalawa.
Wala ka rin naman para aking masilayan.

Kasi.
Hindi ko alam.
Kung paano ko nagagawang dumilat.
At ibuka ang aking mga mata.
Igalaw ang aking mga kamay at paa.
Ngayong wala ka rin naman.
Para makasama ka.

Kasi.
Hindi ko alam.
Kung paano ko pa ipagpapatuloy.
Yong pagtayo, paglakad.
At ang pagtawa.
Kung sa bawat pagtibok ng puso.
Wala ka rin naman.
Ano pa ang saysay ng paghinga?

Di ba sabi mo.
Walang iwanan di ba?
Pero bakit wala ka?
Bigla kang nawala.
Noong una kong naaninag ang liwanag.
Sa kabilang dulo ng daan.

Bakit di ka sumabay?
Bakit ka nagpaiwan?
Bakit?
Bakit?!
Tanong ng utak kong puno ng galit!

Bakit ako lang?
Bakit hindi tayo?
Bakit hindi na lang ikaw?
Bakit kasi ako?
Naghihingalong tanong ng aking puso!

Kasi sa bawat pagdilat ng mata, paggalaw ng mga bente at paa.
At sa aking bawat paghinga.
Alam ko na naglalakbay na ako papalayo sa yo.

Kasi alam ko.
Na sa aking paruruonan, wala ka doon.
Ako lang.
Ako na lang.

Kaya ako nagagalit.
Natatakot.
At labis na nasasaktan.
Kasi doon sa destinasyong gusto ng mga tao na aking makaabot at mapuntahan.

Tuloyan nilang pinaparamdam sa akin.
Na wala na talaga.
Wala ka na.
Ako na lang.

*Long sigh*

This is actually one of the very sad poem that I have ever written. I cried a lot while re – reading this not just to check if I’m using the right words for it but I was actually reading it for a couple of times because I just can’t imagine myself being in that girl’s shoe. This poem is about a couple (I’m referring to the girl who stood and spoke in the open mic) who woke up after an accident and it’s just her who survived the tragedy. Her boyfriend of 5 years did not make it. She mourn his death even until now because it’s only been a year since she lost him. This poem is me conveying to you little young ones the girl’s question as to why that whole thing happened? She is full of whys? Why him? Why not her? Why not them?

*Tears fell*

I just felt like sharing this to you little young ones as a wake up call that accidents can happen to anyone, anytime, and anywhere. Whether you are ready or not. So always, always, and always be true to yourself and be free to say what you like to say, do what you can do for every single day, be a forgiver, love more and hate less because time is not always on our side and we don’t know as for how long will we be able to say “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, and “Thank you” to the people that we love and love us.

Enjoy your Saturday and Sunday little young ones. 🙂